Bigger Than My Body
by jdmazz
Summary: Right around the time that Kendall had finally gotten beyond first base, James brought up something that Kendall had completely forgotten about. Apparently, girls loved massages and James just happened to be great with his hands. Kendall/James.


I really don't know where this came from and I know that you're all waiting for Golden Slumbers, but I needed a break from that fic, needed to write something else because the pressure became too much at some point.

This happened when I was on vacation, wide awake at 4 am, and a random drabble just escalated into this. I hope you enjoy? Haha.

Thanks to **Skylines Turn** for betaing, as always.

* * *

First, it happened on occasion.

All of it had started when James confessed that his mom had made him take massage classes ever since he was ten – suffering from chronic back pains, she needed the help. Of course, considering the fact that she was the CEO of Brooke Diamond Cosmetics and seeing how she was busy behind a computer almost 24/7, no one was surprised. The thing that did surprise Kendall was that James actually _took _the classes.

It was the most not-sexy thing he'd ever heard. They were fourteen at the time and James massaged his mom once a day. Kendall knew that no one ever told Brooke Diamond "no," especially not her own son, but that mental image had been so incredibly gross that he'd decided to ban it from his own mind. And that was that.

Or so he thought.

* * *

At sixteen, Kendall finally had his grow spurt, leaving him tall and lanky and okay, a little awkward. He didn't necessarily look bad and girls didn't find him repulsive, so that was a victory in itself, but then there was James.

James, who had always been beautiful, of course, but the thing was... He never cared before. All he used to care about was spending time with his "bestest of friends" (Kendall) and their "life-long supporters" (Carlos and Logan). But when James grew older, wider, stronger and somehow a thousand times more attractive, he also magically learned what kind of jeans gave him that specific edge he was looking for and how to make his hair shine just right. Kendall suspected, no, wait, _knew_, that Brooke Diamond was to blame. No normal sixteen year old boy learned these things on his own.

Tragically (because yes, if you asked Kendall, this was a damn tragedy) there was nothing he could do or say about it without sounding like a total douche, which he couldn't risk. James was, apart from his family, the most important person in his life and when he was honest to himself, Katie treated James like her cooler big brother already. Which probably should offend Kendall, but, really. It solved that little problem, so it was fine. Dandy, to be specific.

It didn't, on the other hand, solve the fact that girls threw themselves at James' feet. And right around the time that Kendall had finally gotten beyond first base, James brought up something that Kendall had completely forgotten about.

Apparently, girls loved massages and James just happened to be great with his hands.

That opened up a whole new can of worms that Kendall wasn't prepared for – he told himself (and James) that it wasn't fair that now, the Diamond charm had gotten even more irresistible and that Kendall stood no chance whatsoever anymore.

He didn't understand the deeper meaning behind his words yet, but they rang truer than ever.

That was also the moment Kendall started wondering what exactly James could do with those hands. Of course that was for research purposes only. Obviously.

* * *

When he started dreaming about it and woke up with sticky boxers, he blamed it on the girl that James had been taking care of. She was terribly hot and he was only human.

He actually almost convinced himself.

* * *

LA was different. Great, but different, and lots of changes were happening. Taking the whole "we're a boyband" thing out of account (all Kendall could say about it was that he did it for James), Kendall actually had a girlfriend now, for the first time in his life. The first serious one, at least. And Jo was great, really, she was awesome, but he just didn't understand her, and girls in general, sometimes.

Of course, the only one who did understand girls was James and he took full advantage of it. Within less than a month, James' massage skills had become a legend around the Palm Woods and Carlos had even defeatedly told Kendall that he'd heard the Jennifers wonder about it, which, let's face it, almost never happened.

Kendall was seriously getting angry about it now and when he ranted about it to Jo, she merely laughed and cupped his face, clearly finding him endearing.

"You're not so bad yourself, either," Jo smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

Somehow that didn't make him feel any better, because somewhere down the line, that hadn't been the point anymore.

* * *

One day, he got to witness James' skills right in front of him. Sunblock Girl nearly mewled in pleasure and visibly turned to putty under James' hands. Very hot, moaning putty, to be precise, and James just smirked as she threw her head back, writhing along with his touches.

Kendall had to walk away because he was afraid he'd throw up if he watched any longer.

* * *

Then, Kendall sprained his ankle, and all hell broke loose. Suffering from severe pains and not even being able to walk properly, he begged Gustavo for a masseuse. Which failed epically, since apparently "dogs don't need massages" and he just needed to "man up already." Basically at that point, Kendall figured he was screwed – if a massage for one time only wasn't even a possibility, physiotherapy was out of the question.

James overheard and decided to work his magic. This time, he worked it on Kendall.

"Dude, let me look at it for a second," he offered and in response, Kendall nearly kicked him in the face with his shin.

"What, so you can prove that you can beat me in a fight? Never, Diamond," he protested and tried to crawl backwards. James was faster and grabbed him by the foot before he could even blink.

"No, so I can play masseur, asshole." James simply rolled his eyes. He pulled at the ends of Kendall's jeans, rolling them up until they revealed his ankles. His left was visibly red and swollen and Kendall couldn't help but cringe.

"James, I swear to god," he snarled as James' hands encircled his skin. "Get the fuck off of me, you could make it wo… _Oh." _

He let out a sigh of relief. James' hands were working him as if his skin was touched by magic, slowly easing the tension out little by little.

"Better?" James gazed up at him and smirked knowingly. Kendall didn't even have the energy to fight him anymore.

"Fuck yes." And shit, that was way too close to a moan – what the fuck was his problem lately?

"See, my talent is not just a legend," James smirked cockily and continued to drain Kendall's pain out of his system with just a few simply touches. Kendall had given up on understanding how and decided to just enjoy what was happening. James seemed to sense that, of course, couldn't he live a damn day without his friends knowing what he was feeling? Being an open book to people wasn't fun at all sometimes. Kendall spoke from experience.

Now was one of those times since James' hands disappeared from his skin, leaving him cold and empty as he was suddenly just one person again.

"Get some rest dude. I'll work my magic on you again when you wake up tomorrow." Kendall just nodded, thoughts a million miles away.

* * *

Tomorrow turned into every time Kendall injured himself, which turned into a massage every time James claimed Kendall was starting to look "a little tense."

By then, he had fully figured out what his problem was.

* * *

A few weeks after his personal little epiphany, Kendall and Carlos stumbled into the apartment, nearly tripping over their own feet before crashing on the couch. It'd been a long-ass rehearsal, mainly because Gustavo had decided that Carlos and Kendall were to master the skills of doing back flips as well – which they failed at epically, judging by the way Kendall's ass felt after landing on the hardwood floor so many times he lost count. Carlos hadn't been any better off, though the lifetime experience of crazy stunts and hospital visits give Carlos an advantage in the sense that he barely even felt pain anymore.

What bothered Kendall most about all of this was that James and Logan had the day off and could do whatever they wanted to do while Kendall was so sore he couldn't even sit down.

As if on cue, Logan and James stormed in, wearing identical grins. Kendall decided that he didn't even want to know since any joy that wasn't his, was not worth spending the little energy on that he had left. Honestly, he'd rather bitch and moan about how much pain he was in. Which was exactly what he did.

"Uhhhh," he groaned into the orange cushion, Carlos agreeing in unison from what seemed miles and miles away.

"What happened to you guys?" Logan asked and again, Kendall decided that talking would cost him way too much effort. Instead, Carlos was the one who sat up.

"Gustavo tortured us and now Kendall wants to die," he announced matter-of-factly and Kendall could almost hear the little smile that went along with it.

"And you don't?" Logan questioned him.

"Nah, I just want to sleep." Kendall couldn't stop his lips from curving into a smirk – Carlos really was like a child sometimes. After this little nap, Kendall knew that Carlos would be back on his feet and jump around like there was a fireball threatening to explode inside of him. Normal business, really, and he'd act like nothing had ever even happened before. Kendall, however? Not so much.

He vaguely registered that Logan led Carlos back to bed (he really was like the mom sometimes) and then groaned again, face-planting into the cushion.

"Hey, need a hand?" a voice softly asked. James. Not that it could've been anyone else. Everything inside of Kendall screamed no, not after he'd discovered that his teenage fucking hormones betrayed him every time James laid hands on him.

He'd rather not think about what that meant yet.

"I'm seeing Jo in a few," Kendall protested. His voice sounded weak to his own ears. If he didn't even fool himself there was absolutely no way he tricked James, who knew him better than he knew himself. There were probably moles on his body that Kendall couldn't see, but James knew from the back of his hand. Still, though. Fact was that he'd rather live through some sore muscles than pop a boner while James was trying to make the pain go away. All of this was gay (and confusing) enough without his damn pants getting ready to camp out, thank you very much.

"She won't fix the pain and you know that, Knight." Well, yeah, that, and they broke up because of Kendall's not so little existential crisis and he'd rather that James didn't know. Not yet, at least. Now really wasn't the time.

Maybe in a thousand years. Or when James had gone deaf. Either sounded really appealing.

"Silence means yes," James' voice dropped dangerously low and Kendall was ready to ask since when the fuck that was a rule, but then he could practically feel James shuffling close more than he heard it. Before he knew it, he could feel James breathing right next to his ear. Out of nowhere, his voice sounded a little too sultry yet ordering all the same.

"Stop bitching and take your shirt off." And fuck, that really shouldn't turn him on but it did and what did that say about him?

Kendall made an effort to lift his arm, intended to punch James right in the face, but even the smallest movement hurt, so he retorted to a snappy remark that didn't have nearly the same effect but was at least better than laying there and doing nothing.

"At least buy me a drink first, slut," he complained but allowed it anyway when James' hands slipped under the edges of his shirt and slid it up. Not before loudly groaning when James made him lift his arms though – he felt like shit while James was fine and he'd rub it in whenever he got the chance to. Technically James was the one who did all the rubbing, but, uh. That wasn't something he wanted to think about. Not voluntarily at least, because it might have happened on occasion, but that wasn't the point.

"Relax," James said softly before placing his knees on either side of Kendall's body. He sat down on the upper part of Kendall's legs, which. Oh. That was definitely new.

"Make me," Kendall snapped. This time, he was actually aware of how annoying he was being, so he decided to keep his mouth shut. James wouldn't be his best friend if he didn't put up with it – not nearly as irritated as any sane person would've been, James just laughed, clearly amused at Kendall's tendencies to act like a little dramaqueen. He laid a hand on his shoulder blade, fingers burning up against Kendall's skin.

"Oh, I will." Rough, big hands slid up his spine, cool and smooth and feverishly hot and wait, where the fuck did he get the massage oil from? Suddenly he's wet and hot and a shivering fucking mess and James hasn't even properly touched him yet.

The meaning of proper might actually be up for discussion.

"You're on fire, man," James half-whispered, sounding astonished. Kendall really wanted to say something, anything, but then his hands slip up higher and started circling around his skin and the only sound that threatened to spill from his lips was a moan, which was an absolute no-go. Even Kendall knew he couldn't.

Not emitting any inappropriate sounds was getting harder as James continued, weight heavy upon Kendall's legs and pressing in tightly. His hands were gentle but firm and now that they had accommodated to the warmth of Kendall's skin, it felt oddly intimate. Too intimate, almost.

Maybe it was because his clothes had always been on when they did this. Until now, at least. Or maybe it was because James was actually on top of him this time. Whatever it was, something was different. Intense. Which basically meant that Kendall should make a bee line for it now that he still could, but the problem was… He already couldn't. Not when James' hands were pressing against his skin in ways that were unfamiliar but felt like home and were better than anything he'd ever felt so far.

"Feeling better already?" James' voice was barely anything above a whisper. Kendall still didn't trust his own voice.

"Uhhhh," he mumbled again, choosing to go with the safe route. James just chuckled, his hands applying more pressure to his shoulders now.

"This is gonna hurt," he warned and before Kendall could ask what he meant with "hurt", James' thumbs pushed hard into the knots in his shoulders. Kendall arched away, nearly kicking James off of the couch. He cried out loudly, his screech echoing through the apartment. If he wasn't in so much damn pain, he might've worried about waking up Carlos.

This was now though and the pain was right there, blazing behind his eyes, flashing a bright red. He bit his tongue and tasted iron, painting the walls of his mouth.

"What the FUCK?" Kendall half-yelled indignantly and turned his head to look at James. His cheeks blazed red, which was weird. Maybe it was just really hot in the room?

"I warned you," James shrugged and pushed Kendall's head back to the couch, a little too fast for Kendall's liking. He really wasn't done trying to figure out why James' face was on fire and he was having fun studying him, thanks.

"Stay," James ordered then and Kendall immediately stopped struggling. "It'll only feel better now, promise."

If it had been any other person, Kendall wouldn't have given up the fight, but it wasn't just any other person. It was James. And James Diamond might be arrogant, conceited and a little overdriven sometimes, but he never ever broke a promise. Not ones he made to Kendall, at least, so Kendall huffed in defeat and put his head back down, not worrying about what "better" exactly meant.

As it turned out, he should have.

James ran his fingers down his sides, feathery light and tickling in just the right way. Kendall squirmed, his pants officially too tight for him now. Great. That meant he was stuck in this position until James left the room, which would probably be never, given his chances.

"Ssh," James mumbled. He darted his fingers down to the dimples right above his waistband, pressing his lips against the back of Kendall's neck. His fingers grabbed hold of Kendall's wrist, effectively stopping him from moving.

Kendall froze.

"What are you doing?" A vague kind of panic registered and his brain nearly short-circuited, fireworks about to explode in his brain. James' lips trailed down, pressing light kisses against his skin, once again following his spine. Kendall shivered against him, which in its turn made James press in tighter.

"I'm doing what you've wanted me to do for a year now."

"What. I don't- no. _What?" _ he spluttered. He actually fucking spluttered and he was sure he couldn't be less sexy than he was being right now. James clearly disagreed, continuing the massage with his lips, murmuring against Kendall's back.

"Best friend, open book, yadayada. You're ruining the moment, Kendall." His voice sounded smothered. James pressed his thigh against Kendall's butt and suddenly he was burning everywhere. Kendall gasped, involuntarily arching into the touch.

"Ruining what?" he managed to choke out and he tried to turn around, but James ' grip was too firm and oh, right. He still hurt everywhere.

"Ruining the best erotic massage you'll ever get." Oh. As much as that should've disturbed Kendall, seeing how he knew where these talents came from in the first place, he couldn't actually – well. He couldn't actually say no to an offer like that. Not after all he'd been through lately, which James seemed to know about.

All the color drained from his face. _James knew. All of it._

"James, um – "

"Turn off that brain of yours and _experience _what's about to happen," and okay, maybe it wasn't James' smoothest line – honestly, he'd heard him do better – but this was James and it was Kendall and it was _them. _This could be a one time thing, it was most likely to be, but he might as well enjoy what he got.

"It's not just you who wanted it, y'know," James spoke against his back, tongue darting out and licking up the massage oil left on Kendall's skin. His hands moved underneath Kendall's waistband, firmly pressing into his ass and making him burn all over, every hair on his body standing upright.

Kendall murmured something unintelligible, flashes of purple and blue making it impossible for him to be coherent. He arched forward, pressing his dick into the cushions, and trembled, the friction too much but not enough at all. James' touches made him see colors, his lips a burning reminder that this was real, that this was actually happening.

Suddenly, with a quick movement, he was on his back and James was zipping down his fly. By the time he blinked, his jeans were tugged off and slung across the room.

"Mhm, every time I touched you. Aching to do this, get you on your back for me." Kendall opened up his eyes, that had been squeezed shut in fear of seeing James in green, but his vision cleared. James' eyes were so dark it almost scared him.

Maybe not a one time thing then.

"Yeah?" Kendall managed to scratch out and he wrapped his legs around James' hips, tugging him closer until James' fully clothed chest pressed against his naked one.

"Yeah. Always wondered how awesome we'd be at making ou – umph." His words were cut off by Kendall's lips pressing against his, hard and wanting and fueling everything that had been lingering below the surface. Kendall wrapped his hands around James' neck, fully wrapped around his body now, and experimentally thrust forward. He gasped against James' mouth.

James slid his tongue into Kendall's ready mouth, slow and filthy and everything Kendall dreamed it would be – the star of his wet dreams. Deepening the kiss, he started up a rhythm, thrusting against James, who was still fully clothed, damn it.

His fingers curled underneath James' shirt, sliding up his abs. He nearly choked at the feel of it, only just in time realizing that breathing is kind of mandatory to living. He grinded up against James, his back arching off the couch, and he trembled with the effort of not coming right there and then.

Kendall reminded himself that he wasn't not fifteen anymore. He could deal with this.

Turns out he couldn't, not when James' hands slid in his boxers, holding him in his palm. At that moment, James' hands felt bigger than his body, hands down his boxers. He had to rip his mouth away, gasping for air, and when fingers wrapped around him, sparks welled up in his throat, threatening to spill out.

He saw stars, clouds, the entire fucking Milkyway flashing right in front of his eyes when James started moving up and down, slowly but firm and gentle in a way he didn't know was possible. He gasped, again, thrusting in time with James' strokes and fucking up into his hand. When James bit down onto his neck, right in the vein that hurt him the most, he shouted and spilled all over James and himself with a gasp.

Against his neck, he felt James grin. His heart beating uncontrollably, he slumped against James, collapsing into his chest and closing his eyes. He knew a talk was probably in order here, that they needed to discuss what just happened, but with his entire body wrapped around James', talking really wasn't a priority.

"Feeling better?"

"Much."

Their lips met, going in for a gentler kiss this time and Kendall only now noticed how soft and plump James' lips were. He laughed into the kiss, licking into James' mouth quickly, before retreating and sliding his own hands down James' jeans.

Yeah, they'd talk later.


End file.
